Boy Talk: Leg Shaving

Even if you’re “just one of the guys,” hanging with the bros 24/7, I’m here to tell you, that you’ve been played. The real guy time begins long after you’re gone, when the space has been thoroughly cleaned of girl cooties. Their true thoughts, opinions and not-so-subtle remarks come out when deep in a game of Fortnite. Here, I will get the inside scoop on what guys really think about us girls. This week’s topic: How important is it that girls shave their legs?

Maggie: “So how important is it that girls shave their legs? Honestly, guys.”

Boy 1: “Kinda important because I feel like its weird if their coming in here with carpet legs…”

My first reaction was: Um, I’m sorry, “carpet legs??” Is he for real? But my second reaction was when reality dawned on me: Ohhh, he’s probably referring to the winter months, when our razors go into hibernation, and we all become full on wooly-mammoths. Didn’t know that was referred to as “carpet legs” though. Definitely not the cutest terminology.

“…like I guess a little hairy isn’t the end of the world, but obviously I prefer it shaved”

Yes, that’s better, thank you.

Boy 2 *with half a burrito in his mouth*: “Pretty important. If i’m dating you that’s another thing, like some can slide, but even if they have really hairy legs thats gross. I don’t want to touch it.”

Don’t want to touch it? Do they realize that they too, have MUCH hairier legs? Do they not touch their own legs?

M: “So what do you deem to be really hairy? When is it too much?”

Boy 2: “If I can see it, it’s not good. If it’s visible it’s too much.”

*Glances down at my own legs* Crap, definitely visible.

M *motioning towards her exposed leg*: “Would this be considered too visible?”

B2: “Yea, so look, I’m not gonna answer that one..”

*experiences momentary heart failure* I SHAVED YESTERDAY MORNING. I repeat. It’s been 24 hours.

M: “What about you? What do you think on a scale of 1 to 10?”

Boy 3: “Oh it’s VERY important. I would say an 8.5 out of 10 importance.”

Lovely. *makes mental note to buy new razor blades*

Boy 3: “If I’m dating them I’ll let it go down to a 7, like less important but still important.”

Dating only gets you down to a 7?? Two words: Rip. Off.

M: “How important is it really that girls have shaved legs?”

Boy 4: “Important. That sh**’s nasty.”

M *frustrating and wishing she had shaved this morning*: “Why is it sooo important?”

B4: “That prickly shit hurts. I hate it. Those prickles can take off a finger.”

*Initiates extreme eye roll*

M: “How important is it that girls shave their legs? If you had to measure important on a scale of 1 to 10?”

Boy 5: “TEN! Very important. That’s just gross.”

Well, there you have it ladies. It looks like our days of shaving continues. Hell, after this interview I’m ready to get lasered. No amount of shaving cream is going to create the endlessly silky smooth effect they’re looking for anyways. Boys: lets lower the expectations a little bit, why don’t we? Ladies: Shave on!

Maggie Klimuszko

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