By Meighan Ashford
It’s not hard to see the appeal of social media accounts that offer up picturesque traditional housewife roles. Influencers such as Nara Smith and Ballerina Farm have amassed millions of followers, sparking curiosity about the allure behind their content. In an increasingly fast-paced and chaotic world, the idea of returning to the roots of homemaking can be comforting — aspirational even. Wrapped up in nostalgia, the curated aesthetics offer viewers a glimpse into an idyllic domestic existence filled with homemade meals, cozy interiors, and wholesome family moments.
To better understand the appeal of these accounts, I decided to replicate five of the recipes featured in their videos, comparing the time, energy, and effort required to recreate their content with the portrayal presented in the videos from both Nara Smith and Ballerina Farms.
The first recipe I attempted was a take on classic meatloaf, as featured by Nara Smith. While the video depicted the process as effortless and enjoyable, the reality was quite different, as I was instantly met with challenges when trying to mix everything as smoothly as possible. Preparing the ingredients, mixing the meatloaf, and waiting for it to bake consumed a significant amount of time and energy, far more than the video suggested. Though it appeared effortless in the video, the reality required a substantial investment of time and effort. Nevertheless, it was worthwhile because of the dish’s satisfying taste and savory aroma. Even though it took longer than expected, the satisfaction of having a homemade meal was evident and reinforced the importance of putting effort into one’s culinary pursuits.
Next, I tried my hand at making homemade bread, a staple featured prominently on Ballerina Farms’ account. In practice, kneading dough and waiting, and waiting, and continuously waiting for it to rise required a level of dedication that seemed idealized in videos but intimidating in practice. Excitement and anxiety were raised as I worked the ingredients, anticipating the moment when the dough would rise. While the aroma of freshly baked bread filled my kitchen, the labor and great deal of work invested left me wondering if the convenience of store-bought bread might be preferable after all that hard work left me exhausted.
As I continued experimenting with recipes from these influencers, including homemade pasta, apple pie, and roasted vegetables, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the reality of homemaking differed significantly from its portrayal on social media. Although the final outcomes were usually pretty satisfying, the amount of effort and free time needed to achieve them was no joke. It got me thinking: is it doable to keep up this lifestyle in the long run?
I still find myself drawn to the idealized picture of traditional homemaking roles, despite the challenges I’ve faced and the differences I’ve discovered between what I expected and what actually happened. For me, it’s about looking for a more fulfilling life that goes beyond the confines of a conventional career. Additionally, the recent rise in popularity of traditional homemaking practices may reflect a larger cultural shift away from complexity and toward self-sufficiency, sustainability, and simplicity as a reaction to the overwhelming demands of modern life.
For more cultural context about the tradwife accounts, I talked to Joci Caldwell-Ryan, director of SMU’s Women and Gender Studies program. Caldwell-Ryan said tradwife content needs to be understood within the context of societal dynamics and gender norms — and that the content did not interest her in the slightest. While cooking and homemaking can be fulfilling for those who enjoy it, it shouldn’t be idealized or perceived as inherently glamorous, according to Caldwell-Ryan.
“I find it somewhat amusing because I’m not convinced that the people following some of these influencers really want to give up their 401Ks to make their own goat cheese,” said Caldwell-Ryan.
Women continue to face societal pressures and expectations regarding their roles and responsibilities, Caldwell-Ryan says. She noted that the portrayal of traditional homemaking roles on platforms like TikTok may resonate with some women as a form of empowerment, allowing them to reclaim agency over their domestic lives in a world that often undervalues caregiving and homemaking and that there is nothing wrong with that.
Further, Caldwell-Ryan says a disconnect between the basics of everyday life and the popularized image of traditional homemaking roles among young people may be one factor contributing to the appeal of these roles. People who were raised in an era where convenience and fast food were prized more than conventional homemaking methods often find themselves yearning for the good old days after watching these videos.
And, despite the name moniker, Caldwell-Ryan says the notion of traditional homemaking roles inaccurately reflect the diversity of American families and households.
“Women make up nearly 50% of the workforce and have done so for decades now,” Caldwell-Ryan says. “I would also ask traditional for whom? I think the diversity of American families and households is not represented by trad-mom sites.”
However, the choices for women do not need to be one or the other. For example, the grassroots organization Mothers Untitled focuses on women’s diverse choices and helping women transition into — and out of — homemaking roles.
Mothers Untitled offers a supportive platform for women, encouraging them to embrace diverse experiences within motherhood. They challenge stereotypes and advocate for policies supporting caregivers, promoting inclusivity and acceptance. By integrating their perspective, we gain insight into the motivations and experiences of women in traditional homemaking roles, empowering them to navigate and thrive in their chosen paths.
While these activities may seem difficult at first, some women — including myself — find true fulfillment and enjoyment in them despite the initial discomfort and difficulty. However, it’s essential to acknowledge the broader societal factors influencing these choices and the structural inequalities shaping women’s opportunities. Ultimately, embracing tradwife activities can be a source of empowerment for some, highlighting the diverse experiences within motherhood and homemaking.
Cover Graphic by Juan Silva
