By Bella Stryker
It’s a crisp, fall afternoon, and your friend just waltzed into Fondren Library a good 30 minutes late to your study session. She’s speed-walking through Starbucks, her book bag flying everywhere, phone propped between her shoulder and ear, chatting away, while somehow juggling three drinks at once. We call her a beverage goblin — the type who is always sipping on multiple beverages at the same time. How could you ever expect her to only sip on water?
We all know someone like this. Maybe it’s a friend, or maybe your roommate, who somehow manages to hoard every glass you both collectively own in their room.
On campus, one of our very own beverage goblins is the SMU Look Advisor, Professor Jenny Davis. When asked about her drink habits, she explained, “I like to be able to sip the beverage I want, when I want it, and I do eventually finish them, even if the coffee’s cold or the Coke’s warm.” Her usual lineup? A mini-sized Diet Coke, a cup of coffee, and a La Croix. Her pro-tip for fellow beverage goblins: opt for minis whenever possible — it helps with that glass left half-full problem.
There’s even a bit of science behind the madness of multi-beverage life. TikTok creator Kirsten West, who goes by @thecenteredlifeco, started the trend. Her golden formula? A drink to hydrate, a drink to energize, and one just for fun. Applying that logic, Professor Davis’s trio fits perfectly.
But let’s be honest — maybe, just maybe, beverage goblins are simply incredibly indecisive. Take the quiz below to see if you are a beverage goblin:
Are You a Beverage Goblin?
- When you’re out, what do you order?
A.) A classic cocktail
B.) A unique cocktail, please.
C.) Just a glass of water
D.) Whatever looks weird and interesting! - How do you feel about snacks and drinks?
A) Must have matching snacks for my drinks!
B) Snacks are nice, but drinks come first.
C) I prefer my drinks without any distractions.
D) I’m all about the combo platter! - What’s your beverage consumption style?
A) Sip, savor, repeat!
B) Chug it down, then switch to the next.
C) I like to take my time with each one.
D) I’m a multitasking drinker—always have at least two going! - Do you have a favorite quirky beverage?
A) Yes, I collect all the seasonal flavors!
B) I’m obsessed with trying weird flavor combos.
C) I’m loyal to my classics.
D) I’ll try anything once!
Results:
Mostly A’s: Beverage Connoisseur!You appreciate the finer things in life and always have the perfect drink for every occasion. You’re a true beverage goblin at heart!
Mostly B’s: Totally a Goblin! You love to explore new flavors and never shy away from trying something new. You have a goblin’s curiosity for unique drinks!
Mostly C’s: You’re A Fairy! You’re more laid-back when it comes to beverages. You enjoy the classics and prefer to keep it simple, but you still have a little goblin spirit!
Mostly D’s: Goblin Extraordinaire! You’re the ultimate beverage goblin! You have a drink for every moment and love to indulge in all sorts of concoctions. Keep that fridge stocked!
