By Reece McGowan

A holiday once reserved for love has quickly become a competition of performance. Valentine’s Day, in its current form, often feels less about connection and more about comparison. Social media turns the day into a highlight reel, where couples compete for the biggest bouquet, the fanciest reservation, or the most perfectly “unstaged” moment. Somewhere along the way, we’ve lost sight of the fact that love was never meant to be compared.

I think that is why the idea of self-love feels so important right now. And no, it is not selfish. It is necessary.

There’s something inherently romantic about allowing yourself to slow down without trying to prove anything to anyone. To sit in your own presence and recognize that being alone doesn’t have to be negative. Healing, in fact, is one of the most intimate relationships you’ll ever have.

Self-love might be trending, but this Valentine’s Day, let’s make it intentional.

This year, make the plans you usually wait for someone else to suggest. Make the reservation. Take yourself to dinner. Order exactly what you want without worrying if someone else will like it. Walk through the city with headphones in, pretending you’re the main character of a coming-of-age movie. Embrace the quiet moments instead of trying to fill them in. There’s power in choosing yourself without an audience.

If you want to spoil yourself, do it. Buy the item from the Valentine’s Day drop you’ve been eyeing (hello Parke and Set Active). Not because someone else bought you something, but because you wanted it. Because you can.

Buy yourself flowers. Place them somewhere you’ll see them often. Let them remind you that you don’t need to wait for love to arrive to feel worthy of intimacy.

Start your morning off on the right foot. Move your body gently– or not at all. Try that new coffee shop. Don’t rush your day because society tells you too. Everyone else can wait. You’re on your own time.

For dinner, make the dish you’ve had saved in your TikTok folder for months. My recipe of choice: bruschetta dipping oil. Cook for yourself the way you’d cook for someone you love. Decorate the table. Make a fun cocktail. Romanticize the moment.

Let this Valentine’s Day be a love letter to yourself. Because healing is romantic, and choosing yourself on the official day of love, might just be the most romantic thing you can do.